I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Someone shattered a urinal.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
