Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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