I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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