I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
