We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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