Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
