i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
