apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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