I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
