I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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