who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
