so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Never underestimate the power of titties
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
