Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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