Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize