he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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