Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
