who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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