im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Church boner. Awkwardddd
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
