yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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