There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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