I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
