come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
