is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
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