I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
