I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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