did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
