i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
