You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
