I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
ttyl tear gas
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize