the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
