I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize