You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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