now i know why i became what i already was.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
