we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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