Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
