Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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