Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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