ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
