i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
