I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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