I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Duck Duck Cougar?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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