I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
