Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
