he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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