i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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