Having a random hookup so left but love u
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
