my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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