DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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