Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
