She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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