I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
