I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
