Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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