and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
