If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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