I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
