The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
