FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
