im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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