paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
