this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
