Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
All I want is dick and wine.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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